Obsession with PERFECTION - is the greatest obstacle to CONNECTION
So many times when I consult with parents - I have to point this out to them.
Thoughts like the following need to be examined carefully.
"I will play with my child when my house is clean."
Remember - No house is ever clean enough.
"I will talk to my teen on the beach when we go on that fancy vacation."
Remember - If you don't talk now - you will have nothing to say then
"I can stop getting angry with my teenager if only she gets up on time every morning."
Remember - Your teen will get up on time if you stop getting angry first.
If you are struggling with connection - and so many of us are -
Take a moment to look at the "If... Then" statements in your life.
Connection cannot be Conditional.
I meet a lot of parents who are very concerned about vitamins.
"Which vitamin drops are good? "
" Which health drink is best for vitamins?"
"What are the vitamin rich foods?"
And so on.
Almost no one ever asks about IRON
And as a result iron deficiency is extremely common.
It is not okay to have Iron deficiency.
Because it causes the two things that we dread the most as parents.
1. Sick episodes
2. Poor academic performance
In this article for Morisons Baby Dreams I share the foods that you can start your baby on - to make sure you don't fall into the iron deficiency trap.
Do read: https://www.smartmums.in/iron-rich-foods-for-babies/
In this excellent article on BBC Future(@bbcfuture_official) that questions the practice of #sleeptraining babies.
I am strongly against the practice of 'leaving babies to cry' until they fall asleep
And compelling babies to separate from their parents and sleep in a different room before they feel confident.
What I have said in the article about supporting babies with empathy, love and compassion is what I say at my prenatal classes.
Let us stop thinking that babies are here to make life difficult for us.
This is such an honor.
For the third time in a row I will be speaking at #OMBCDiscover - a yearly conference that focuses on #HealthyBaking
This year I will be speaking on Diabetic Friendly Baking.
And I am really excited about it because I believe that something as wonderful as baking must stretch itself to include as many people as possible.
I am overwhelmed with the response the post announcing my talk on the Ovenderful Mom Baker's Community has received.
In the past two editions of the conference I spoke on -
1. The role of healthy baking in children's nutrition
2. How to increase the health quotient of your bakes.
I am overjoyed to see from the comments on the post announcing this year's talk - that the participants of the conferences in the previous years found my talks valuable.
Eagerly looking forward.
Thank you Simran Oberoi Multani
"No. I don't scold him. I just stop talking."
A mom tells me at a consultation.
Yes. Many of us believe that silence is better than harsh words.
But is it really?
When a child does something wrong - they are most worried about losing your love.
When you stop talking to them
Their worst fear comes true.
Not talking is - withdrawal of love.
It can destroy your child's confidence and self-esteem.
As you WFH and you watch your child make mistakes and more mistakes.
Be aware of how you respond to the mistakes.
Self-esteem is already at an all time low for children.
Make sure you don't make things worse.
Read my book "15 Tips for WFH parents" Published by Juggernaut Books and available on their app.
In it I share 15 very important tips for this difficult time.
Once upon a time....
When weekends in February were about goofing around at the Kala Ghoda Festival
And playing dress up at the Chatrapati Shivaji Vastu Sanghralay when we got a chance 🙂
Our best memories are the ones that we made while playing together.
On this particular day -
We took a Mumbai local and travelled 2 hours to our destination - standing all the through
We walked around at the festival and the museum for 6 hours
We didn't even sit down for lunch.
We ate standing at a roadside stand
And we came back 2 hours standing in a local.
Were we tired and cranky by the end of it?
We came back dancing and singing.
And we still remember it as one of the best outings ever because we were playing all the time.
Play is magical.
The world is a better place when you play.
And it doesn't matter how old you get.
#Play still works it's magic on you.
WHY do children learn?
The answer to this question is something every parent who is saying "My child is refusing to learn. " needs to know.
Children learn because they want to be like someone.
If they learn how to cycle - it is because they want to be like the big girl next door whom they admire.
When they learn something in school - it is because they want to be like their teacher.
They admire their teacher
They know she likes them
They can't wait to do what she does.
To make her like them more.
So liking the teacher enough to want to be like her is a crucial motivator for young children to start learning.
When you teach your child -
And your child will learn effortlessly.
Learning is a voluntary action.
You must make the child want to learn before you begin teaching them.
Otherwise your doubt, disappointment and disapproval will make your child dislike learning.
PC: Photo by CDC on Unsplash
"I love how much positive insight you gave us into a baby's crying. "
A to-be-grandmom tells me as I end my prenatal class that she was attending with her daughter and son-in-law.
"When I was a new mom - My babies used to cry ALL THE TIME!!
And I received so much flak for it.
I still cannot forget after 28 years how I was made to feel like a bad mom because my babies cried.
I was dreading going through the same with my daughter and her baby.
But after listening to your explanation of the physiology of crying.
Why it is essential.
And why it does not mean that the baby has a bad mom.
I feel so relieved and confident.
I wish I had attended a class like this.
But it's alright. At least my daughter has."
From the first time a baby starts crying - mothers are flooded with unnecessary guilt.
And this guilt keeps increasing as the days go by - finally compelling moms to shelve their dreams and aspirations and live a wounded life.
Don't allow this to happen.
Always attend a prenatal class that helps you understand your baby and their crying.
PC: Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
A sunlit balcony
A chair that has travelled the length and breadth of the country with me for the past 20 years
No red outfit or makeup
A long distance video call to the Fauji in my life
A selfie that my daughter calls the worst selfie of the century
That is my Valentine's Day.
What are you doing?
Thank you Anupama Dalmia
for inviting me to be part of this panel.
This is such an important topic.
And it will be a privilege to discuss it with such esteemed panelists.