Are you in PARENTING BURNOUT?
The answer could be YES.
1. How to know if you are suffering from parenting burnout or heading towards it
2. The ABC formula to overcome and prevent parenting burnout
Do let me know if you have any questions.
Motherhood is just so hard Doctor."
An exhausted mom said at yesterday's consultation.
"I have done so much in life.
I have achieved business targets - managed large teams - stuck to crazy deadlines.
I would really say I have done it all - and loved all the challenges.
And now suddenly I am not able to manage ONE baby!!
I have begun to question my capability and I wonder how I will ever go back to work.
Will I ever be able to work if I can't even manage my baby while I am not working?"
She asked me.
My answer -
"Oh yes you will !!!!
Motherhood is tough - but it is incredibly rewarding as well.
Unfortunately a lot of times we miss out on the rewards of motherhood because we are not physically mentally and emotionally prepared for all the work and the challenges that come with motherhood.
And that is why we find motherhood overwhelming, exhausting and difficult.
You must have trained for so many years - to be as good as you were at the workplace.
If you train for motherhood you will begin to love the challenges that motherhood brings along too."
That is why I conduct prenatal classes, infant care classes and toddler and preschooler parenting classes.
Attending them and learning all about yourself and your child at every stage of parenting is the secret to relishing the parenting experience.
Reach out for a session if you are struggling
"It's not that I don't want to do what I need to do - like my projects for example.
It's just that they take so long to do and I never seem to have the time"
A teenager I am mentoring tells me.
And this is a fact.
Most teenagers have too much to do and too little time.
So what is the solution?
Yes. It sounds like a harsh word but it is necessary if we want more time in the day.
Doing the same thing in the same sequence every day is the only way to
1. Automate some functions of the brain.
2. Speed up things
And ensure that you have more time in the day.
Unfortunately while the parents of teenagers want them to be disciplined - in most cases they haven't ever prioritized discipline in the early years.
The early years are often spent thinking " It is very harsh to discipline children so early in life. They should be free."
Of course they should be free!
That is why they need discipline. Because discipline sets you free.
Show your child how they can set themselves free through discipline as early as possible.
Do this by being disciplined YOURSELF.
That is the only way to ensure that your teenager gets their work done on time in high school.
#quoted in this article on eco-anxiety in children in the Mint lounge.
Research has found that children are anxious and fearful about what may happen due to the adverse environmental changes in recent times.
While I agree that children are worried - my experience with the children I have worked with is that they are determined and eager to find a solution. They are definitely not helpless.
That is the magic of childhood. You believe that anything is possible and that you can make anything happen.
It is the time when you believe firmly in "the power of one"
And as parents we must be careful not to snuff out that belief.
Everything - including saving the environment comes from each and every one of us doing one small thing at a time.
As long as we believe that WE must do it - As long as we don't dump the responsibility of doing something about the environment on someone else - we will be able to save the world.
One light switched off....
One plastic packet rejected....
One attempt at using public transport instead of your own car.....
And you can leave anxiety behind because you know you are taking action.
It is so scary when the fever goes up in the middle of the night.
And it usually does.
Then there is a mad scramble for medicines and sponging to lower the fever.
And many times it is so scary that you call the doctor and go to the hospital.
Why does this happen?
Why do fevers rise at the most inconvenient time of the day?
The reason is that the immune system starts working with full power after you go to sleep.
While you are awake, all the other parts of your body are working hard.
It is only when you sleep that the immune system gets a chance to grab the energy and resources it needs to function and eliminate disease.
That is why fevers rise in the night.
But what does that tell you about your body?
1. You need to sleep enough every day so that your immune system has sufficient time to find disease causing cells and organisms and eliminate them. Lack of sleep will make you sick.
2. When you are sick you must sleep more. So that your body can give all it's energy and power to the immune system to help it fight disease and help you recover.
Unfortunately, most of us do not sleep.
Almost every time I consult with a family about a parenting issue - I discover an associated sleep issue.
Not having a sleep routine is the number one parenting mistake.
It has a huge impact on everything - especially immunity.
There are 6 other parenting mistakes that compromise immunity and I write about them in my book
"Building Immunity in Kids"
Published by Juggernaut Books and available on Amazon.
As we battle this wave of sickness let us make the effort to correct the mistakes that we are making with our kids so that they have better immune systems and fall sick less often.
A panic stricken mom in tears tells me -
"When the pandemic began my son was only two and a half years old. I didn't want to pressurize him - so I just let him play all day."
"I thought he would learn everything through play and I would send him to school when it begins offline.
But this year I finally had to send him to online school - and I am shocked to see that he doesn't know anything compared to his other classmates.
I am trying to teach him at home - but he doesn't remember anything I teach him.
And he just does not want to make an effort to learn.
I am so worried.
I am constantly shouting at him and sometimes I even hit him when he doesn't listen.
But nothing is working.
What should I do?"
As the pandemic stretches out and goes from months to years, many parents who started out on their child's learning journey calmly - determined to stay relaxed and not push their children - are beginning to panic.
But panic is not helpful.
If you panic and shout and scream and hit - your child - your child's brain will shut down and they will learn nothing.
Learning is voluntary.
You cannot force your child to learn.
So stop shouting and hitting
You can only make your child want to learn.
So start smiling and being exciting and fun.
If you feel you cannot control your urge to hit and shout - reach out for help.