 When a tantrum for something we cannot afford floods us with guilt, shame, fear and regret
An opportunity to use adversity to build resilience is lost Discover a strategic approach to parenting in my book "How to speak to your child about Financial Issues" Published by @JuggernautBooks  "For almost a year now - I haven't had a real conversation with anyone."
A teenager says to me at a consultation. "I can't talk to my parents. They judge me and scold me all the time. And I don't have any friends who want to connect with me - now that school is closed." Yes. This child is in a session with me because her parents are concerned about her not studying. And finally after many months of shouting and screaming at them - she has asked for a session with me. But how can she study? It is impossible. Can you imagine the stress of a teenager who feels this lonely? We talk and talk. And she thanks me as we finish the session. "I think I can study now." She says. Isolation is an unnatural state. Many teens I know have become a shadow of themselves because of isolation. Not studying is just the tip of the iceberg of problems. Be gentle. Listen. Communicate. Reach out for help if you think things are going out of hand. PC: Photo by Ben White on Unsplash  In the first few weeks of the lockdown - the couch became my new home.
Unless I was conducting a workshop or doing a consultation I used to be sprawled out on my couch. I relished this novel experience of working without a desk and chair. Until my back started protesting. And then I discovered working while sitting on the floor in sukhasan. Because I no longer needed furniture - I moved to the spot that is blessed with the maximum sunlight. And I have to say I love it much more than my couch. Where do you work from when you are at home?  A friend reached out to me over the weekend.
"Someone I know has a one year old son, and is getting a little overwhelmed with parenting in my opinion" He said. "He wants to ensure that his child excels in academics. And has started buying the ABC 123 kits that claim to turn babies into geniuses. I feel sorry for the kid. Can you suggest something?" Thank God this kid has an adult like my friend to look out for him. An adult who is willing to make the effort to rescue the baby's parents from drowning in misleading marketing. Should babies be taught abcd, 1234 so early? The answer is NO. Babies are already learning a LOT by themselves at this age. And that is enough. Teaching them like this can cause a strong life long hatred for learning. What should parents who just cannot wait to turn their babies into geniuses do? They should read to their babies. You can start reading to your baby even before they are born. And you can read to them forever without causing any damage. Reading to babies when done right helps them to learn how to read. Here is an article that I have written for Morisons Baby Dreams on reading to babies. https://www.smartmums.in/how-to-read-books-to-your-baby/  "It is our daughter's birthday next week.
She is turning 3. We would like to consult with you and understand how we should change our parenting at this point to meet her needs in the next year." That was a parent calling me for a "Birthday Consultation" I am doing a lot of consultations like this nowadays. And I love them. The pandemic has forced us to slow down and focus on what is really important. From big bashes we have moved to quiet reflection And many parents have realised that they have parenting problems because they are not growing with their children. Children have different needs at every age. And if we know what those needs are and deliver what our children need - we are unlikely to have problems. In my book '55 parenting tips - for every age and every stage' - published by Juggernaut Books - I share an overview of how the needs of children change as they grow. Read it in the most read section of the Juggernaut app and see if you need to change something.  I had lunch with super chef Malavika Shenoy who runs Biscoot Factory
And she served me this Korean delight called Bibimbap from her kitchen. It felt so good to eat minimally cooked food that still looked the way it must have when it was growing in the garden. Living indoors for almost a year ... Not having access to fresh vegetables and greens for several months has made me worship food like this. My grandmother used to cook like this. Every morning one of my uncles would go to the market and buy everything fresh... Including the masalas that would go into each preparation. And when we were served.. Everything on the plate was fresh..local... and seasonal. When I started cooking regularly.. About 20 years ago... I didn't do any of this. I used to use every shortcut ever invented to get food on the table. And I always had something to complain about. A headache, a stomachache, tiredness, sleeplessness and so on. The time that I saved by using shortcuts was stolen away from me surreptitiously by these tiny little episodes of ill health - that slowed me down at work - and worse - kept me from enjoying the time I spent working or resting. Then over the years I began to spend more time in the kitchen. I spent time ensuring that everything was fresh, local and cooked from scratch. And it made me feel so good that I felt like I had 48 hours in the day instead of 24. Time is our most precious posession. And it must be invested to create health. Because good health ensures that we have more productive time on earth. Health creates wealth And eating right is the secret to good health.  "My son/daughter doesn't study.
She/he is just not interested." As the final exams come closer, I hear more and more parents say this to me at consultations. If you are saying this.... I would like to request you to ASK before you ASSUME Find out WHY your child is not studying. Over the years I have found hundreds of different reasons for children not studying. They have ranged from being as simple as not knowing the syllabus and not having the right book.... to suffering from vision problems... to not having anyone to turn to - to ask doubts.. to fearing failure... And many others DIAGNOSIS is important Only then can you remedy the problem. If you are not able to discover the reason... Reach out for expert help. Assuming is DISRESPECTFUL and can DAMAGE your relationship with your child and make things worse than they need to be. PC: Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash  Do you have a question about your baby's weight gain?
Ask me your question in the comments below before the 10th of February 2021 And I will answer them in my upcoming video series for Morisons Baby Dreams Looking forward to hearing from you 🙂 |
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