"Yes! It is working!!" She says.

At a consultation last week - a very harassed and hassled mother sat across from me online.
Her son had been heaped with a ton of diagnoses.
ADHD, ODD, LD and so on.
She had a long list of things that she needed to make her child do - to help him with his challenges.
But because of all his challenges - he was unable to co-operate with her in doing what needed to be done.
She was frustrated and fuming.
She was disappointed and demotivated.
"I don't know what to do. "
Was the one thing she kept repeating.
"How about you shift your focus from making him do things - to changing yourself? "
I suggested.
She looked at me doubtfully.
But as I showed her how SHE was influencing his behavior.
And how changing herself was the key to changing his approach to working on himself - she slowly started nodding her head.
And two days later I received this message from her.
Her delight is literally leaping out of every word in that message.
"Yes! It is working!!" She says.
Yes it does.
So much of parenting is about the PARENTS.
All you need to do is change yourself.
You cannot and should not even TRY to change your child.
That is an automatic consequence of changing yourself.