When talking to teens, remember 'less is more'

At a consultation the other day – a very hassled mom said she was tired of telling her son to study.

She complained that her son was only interested in getting dressed up in fancy clothes and going out with his friends.

Despite his plunging marks – he was not putting in the effort required to score better marks.

She had read somewhere that children – especially teenagers – needed to be told in so many words – what the consequences of their actions would be – and she had done so.

But that had not helped.

If anything, she thought that the more she told her son about the consequences of his actions – the more he stayed away from home.

Here is what I explained to her – “Your son does not need to hear from you what the consequences of his actions will be. He already knows that. And to distract himself he is focusing on getting dressed and hanging out with friends”

The problem here is that he has no idea how to study what he needs to study.

He has probably studied and not scored well once or twice – and is now convinced that he is ‘dumb’ and that is why is afraid of studying. Because it reinforces his belief in the fact that he is ‘dumb’.

You need to help him with studying. Yes – there is no other way.

No. Tuitions will not help.

He has to see that he is worth your time and effort.