My house is always a little messy.
At any given moment - I am reading at least 5 books simultaneously.
And you will find them lying around.
When I take a break I read the newspaper and that is always open too.
My laptop is always open because I am in the midst of writing or consulting or creating content for my workshops.
I constantly listen to videos and podcasts - so you are sure to find earphones and headphones strewn around.
And there is always an assortment of different colored pens and highlighters strewn around.
I blame no one for the mess.
It is mine and I own it.
When I have unexpected guests - I can see the disapproval in their eyes.
But I refuse to feel judged.
The house is absolutely clean.
There is no dirt or dust anywhere in the house.
And that is enough for me.
I am satisfied with CLEAN.
I don't need it to be NEAT.
There is a prevailing #GenderBias about neatness.
Men are rarely judged for untidy living spaces.
They are not labelled lazy or irresponsible if they leave their things lying around.
When it comes to women however, clutter is a mark of character.
This is a bias that is drilled into us when we are children. And we internalize it and begin to identify with it.
During my parenting consultations - many moms tell me that they get extremely upset when they see clutter.
They spend almost all day clearing the clutter or yelling at their kids to clear it up.
It results in them feeling angry, frustrated, exploited and exhausted.
They miss out on relishing experiences, spending time with their family and enjoying me-time because they feel compelled to clean.
And it is not their love for cleaning but how they will be perceived by others that makes them do it.
It is 2022.
Can we #BreakTheBias now?
Can we stop judging ourselves and other women for living the way we want to in the space that we call home?