He has started saying "You don't love me."
The parents of a 10 year old tell me at a consultation. "That of course is definitely not true." They clarify. "We have to say NO to some things like junk food or device use. But that makes him feel that we don't love him. What should we do?" Loving actions from parents - making children feel unloved is a common problem in parenting. And it can sometimes feel like a dead end. Where your love - is received by your child as punishment. And you give in to what they want to do because you cannot bear to be accused of not loving your child. But it doesn't have to go on like that. There are ways to say NO and be firm with discipline without making your child feel unloved. There are ways to SHOW love such that your child constantly SEES it around them. But step 1 is to recognize that your child means what he is saying. He is really feeling unloved. Don't say "Of course I love you." And carry on. Reach out for help and commit to change yourself to SHOW love. It is possible. |
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