"I want to send my daughter to you. She is 15. She is careless, disorganized, disobedient and arrogant. She is not studying and her life is all about clothes and friends.
I want you to change her."
A mom said to me over the phone the other day.
Well - I can speak to her. I replied.
But my speaking to her will only make a difference if we can first create the right environment for her.
And for that I will first need to work with you and her father - the adults in the family.
Both of you will have to commit to change first.
Then and only then can you hope for your teenager to change.
I only work with teenagers when their parents are open to examining their role in the behavior of their teen and changing it.
If parents change themselves - I usually never need to speak with the teen.
Teens look big - but they are really small.
A lot of their behavior is beyond their control.
Just like you cannot expect a newborn to stop crying unless you are willing to find out why they are crying and attend to that need.
You cannot expect your teenager to change unless you understand and fulfill their needs.
And the needs of teens... May not be obvious to every parent.
If you are struggling - reach out for help.
PC: Image by PublicDomainPNG from Pixabay