"Just ask her if she wants to study or not! "
"Just tell him that he needs to study."
Many times I have parents come to me and ask for things like the above.
Of course they are talking about their children who are not studying.
And they believe that their children are not studying because they DON'T WANT TO.
But that is never the case.
Children don't study - not because they don't want to - but because they CAN'T.
Who wouldn't want marks if they could get them easily.
But getting marks is not easy at all.
There is a lot of difference between studying and getting marks.
Several times children study - but don't get marks.
This makes them feel that they are not smart enough to do well.
And to drown this feeling of inadequacy - they escape into the virtual world via their phones.
The phones are not the problem.
The problem is that they don't know 'how to study'.
More importantly they don't know 'how to get marks'.
And because they don't get the results they hope their hard work will get them - they give up.
Don't shout and scream at your child if they are not studying.
Understand that they CAN'T study because they don't know how.
Reach out for help if you don't know what to do.