 Am I being NICE?
I ask myself this question several times a day when I interact with my daughter. Many times the answer to this question is no. And when it is.... I change my behavior. My daughter has an online tuition that begins at 6 AM every morning. Most days she is up with her alarm at 5:30 am for it.. But sometimes she gets late. On all such days... I feel like shouting... If you slept by 9 you would have been up by now.... What is wrong with you? But I ask myself... Am I being nice? The answer of course is no. And so I turn on the laptop... Set out her headphones and books and tell her... Come .. I have readied everything... Come and join the class. The result of this is.. That on some days when I have a consultation at an unearthly hour with a parent who is located in a different continent... I find myself waking up to a cup of hot tea handed to me by my teenager. Little considerations make it easier for us to live together. Unfortunately most of us leave our niceness outside the door. Let the pandemic teach us not to  A compliment from the editor of THE Elephant Journal !!!!
Yooooohooooo!!! I am soooo excited!! Yes... Parenting burnout is real A re-think and some re-organization can help you prevent it. I really wanted to write on this topic and was absolutely thrilled when the elephant journal published it. Do read it if you haven't. This is the article link https://www.elephantjournal.com/2020/12/how-to-prevent-parenting-burnout-debmita-dutta  The first mail that I received after the Google outage was from Google!!
They were writing to me saying that they have given my YouTube channel a custom URL because it now has a 1000 subscribers In the world of YouTubers who have millions of subscribers... 1000 is probably a laughable number... But I am not a YouTuber I usually only share the videos on my YouTube channel with those who consult with me. Most other people don't even know I have a YouTube channel. And until I received that mail I did not even know my subscriber count. So this is a wonderful wonderful surprise 🙂 I am thrilled!! This the custom url. https://www.youtube.com/c/WhatParentsAsk Do subscribe if you are interested in my work 🙂 See you there.  Will air pollution increase your chances of getting a viral infection?
The answer is Yes. When a virus tries to enter your body through through your nose or mouth, Under normal circumstances, They are pushed back outwards by hair like structures called cilia which line your respiratory tract. In the face of air pollution these cilia cannot move well. The reason is the mucus that is secreted to keep out the pollution particles The mucus that you feel as a runny nose or that irritation in your throat Swamps the cilia Weighs them down And does not allow them to move and do their work of lashing out and pushing the virus back outside your body. Is it important then to spend as much time as possible in a pollution free or at least minimally polluted place. Yes it is. If you live in highly polluted place... Consider moving. Viruses are not going away anytime soon. PC: Pixabay  #Published in the Elephant Journal
My article on "How to prevent Parenting Burnout" As the pandemic stretches out - a frightening number of parents are getting close to #ParentingBurnout Almost every day I have a parent reach out to me for a consultation because they are exhausted - overwhelmed - and drowning in guilt. Yes - parenting is a lot of physical and emotional work. But there are ways to make things easier. I have shared 5 things that you can do instantly to lighten your load in this article. Do read. And do share - because you never know who is struggling. Let's stand with each other and hold hands so that we can stay afloat. Link: https://www.elephantjournal.com/2020/12/how-to-prevent-parenting-burnout-debmita-dutta  "I am sorry - I don't gossip"
I said this for the first time many years ago to an acquaintance who had dropped in for coffee And over the years I have said it many times. I am now at a place where I don't need to say it anymore. People who gossip... Stay away from me.... Or at least keep their gossip away from me. Gossip in my opinion...is a tool.....used to pull down anyone who dares to be different. Exclude anyone who steps out of line .... Is the principle it works on. Of course it has the potential to damage the person we are gossiping about But more than that.... It fills us with fear. When we gossip .... We know that we will be gossiped about as well.....and that frightens us and keeps us from being different. And that is dangerous. Because if we are afraid to be different.. If we embrace stereotypes.... How can we live life fully? How can we allow our children to live life fully? As a parent... This is what I tell my daughter.. Someone or the other.... Will always have something or the other.... To say about everything you do.... So do what you think is right. It is not easy to be different But if you are kind, fair, and inclusive it will give you the courage that you need. "Rudolph the red nosed reindeer" Is my favorite Christmas Carol because it says.. Dare to be different.. Embrace diversity.. Be inclusive... I love to use songs that I learnt as a child to reinforce ideas in my head. What do you do to steer clear of gossip?  "She chats with her friends during class."... A worried parent tells me at a consultation
"I want to take away her phone... But I am not sure I should." No. You should not. I reply. Control will never work with teenagers. If you take away the phone... She will find another way to communicate. Because communicating with friends is a teenager's oxygen. Talk to your child and help her find a way to chat while completing what she needs to do in school. Yes... You are worried about grades. Believe me.... So is your child. But can she pursue grades at the cost of her friendships? No she can't. The teens are about getting the balancing act right. Before every action...ask yourself....Am I helping or hampering that? -- Photo by Sven on Unsplash  The exams are almost here.
Time is of essence. Those parents who know that their children have not studied too much in the past year... Have decided to sit and teach their children. Of course parents don't have all the time in the world... And they are struggling to find an hour or two to invest into teaching. They are hoping to teach... ensure that the child has learnt.... and then get on with everything else they need to do. But they get stuck with.... "Every time we start studying.... My child comes up with some story... And that is the end of the study session." Parents think that children are trying to waste time. But that is not true. What children are trying to do is.....transform INFORMATION into EXPERIENCE. A story does just that. So allow stories. Steer them towards what you are teaching. You will save more time......if you teach a little that will be remembered... Rather than a lot that will immediately be forgotten. Understand how the brain learns if you are taking on teaching.
 There are so many myths about learning to read.
Unfortunately many parents believe them. The commonest is... "Surround your child with books and they will learn to read." Does that happen? No. Never!! Unlike learning to 'understand' language and learning to 'speak' language.... Learning to 'read' a language.... MUST be taught. When you teach a child to read... You are teaching them to LISTEN with their EYES. As you teach... Major changes happen in the brain.... Nerves move and shift.... New areas are constructed.... And that is how a child learns how to read. I have been helping parents learn how to teach their children reading in my "Teach your child how to read" Workshops. I have also created resources for them to use on my website. The workshops have received a lot of appreciation from all those who have attended them. And it feels really good when the resources are appreciated.... Like in this post on FB by a busy Entrepreneur mom who says she finds it really easy to revise sounds with this worksheet that is available on my website. All of us are busy. All of us need everything we can possibly get to make parenting easy and fun I am so happy I am able to help.  "Wake your child up by drawing back the curtains and letting in sunlight."
I am saying this more and more at my consultations with parents who are trying to manage cranky children at home. Isolation because of the pandemic has been around for too long now. In many studies people have reported feeling confused because they feel that time is moving slowly and fast at the same time. The day seems to drag on... But the weeks and months are flying by... A lot of people have admitted. Adults are able to put this feeling of confusion into words... But children can only show this through cranky behavior. There are many ways to get past this challenge. And one of the important ones... Is to wake up to sunlight streaming into the room. Large windows that bring in lots of light is something I recommend looking out for as one of the first features in a house that a family is planning to buy. Because daylight is an important physiological requirement that will ensure happiness in the house. How big are your windows? How do you wake up every morning? How does it makes you feel? -- Photo by Maxim Shklyaev on Unsplash |
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