The other day a very perplexed parent asked me -“How involved should I be in my child’s studies?There appear to be no straightforward answers. Too involved is bad and so is uninvolved. How do I know where the line lies?”
Here is what I suggest – 1. Know what your child is studying so that you can have conversations about it. 2. Be involved enough to ask – “Do you need help with this?” every day. 3. Be engaged enough to chalk out a plan for learning and revising. 4. Be available to change the plan if required. Children typically overestimate their ability and underestimate the syllabus. Be involved to the extent that you can help your child overcome that hurdle. Many many many times …..parents come and tell me – my child is very intelligent – he just gets poor marks because he is lazy.
He just doesn’t study. He keeps watching TV. He keeps playing on the mobile. So – I want to say it here. No child is ever lazy. Laziness is a sign of fear of failure. It is a bad sign – because those who are afraid of failure will never succeed. If you have a lazy child – reach out for expert help to understand why your child is lazy and work to change that. "We praise him so much.
We keep looking for things that we can praise. But the praise has no effect on him. It doesn't improve his performance. He still does things when he feels like it. It does not motivate him to do anything more." Perplexed parents of a teenager - tell me at a consultation. I smile. "Children sense INTENTION" I tell them. PRAISING to MANIPULATE will never work. Praise from your heart. Praise to appreciate. Never use praise as a BRIBE. Motivating a teenager is complicated. Every teenager is different. And every teenager needs a different approach. Consult if you are struggling to motivate your teenager. |
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