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The Parenting Place Bangalore

Hand holding for parents from the time they conceive until their children leave their teens.
                           By Dr Debmita Dutta MBBS MD, Parenting and Wellness Consultant.

All we must refrain from is constantly testing them on what they have learnt

20/1/2021

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#quoted

In The New Indian Express in this article saying that

"Unless parents have enough time on their hands and enough expertise and experience to teach their children - they should not pull their children out of school."

Children need a village to thrive - and teachers are a very important part of that village. 

What the teacher says has a huge impact on the child. And in this time of isolation children need this impactful connection in their lives. 

If you feel your child is not learning anything online - understand and appreciate the differences between online and offline learning and tailor your expectations to match. 

We must keep teaching children. 

All we must refrain from is constantly testing them on what they have learnt. 

Every child has a different pace of learning and respecting that is the key to nurturing a brain that is ready to learn

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Medicines? Ideally no

19/1/2021

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The nausea and vomiting that sweeps over you during pregnancy can cause terrible disillusionment. 

I often have couples reaching out to me and saying that they had no idea that they were signing up for THIS. 

Can't eat

Can't cook

Can't work

Can't do anything. 

Can't even tolerate smells

So what can help? 

Medicines? Ideally no. 

Then? 
1. Knowledge about what is happening and why can change your attitude towards the problem and reduce your stress. Which is helpful to reduce nausea. 
2. Physiological measures
Find both in this article that I have written for Morisons Baby Dreams 

Link:https://www.smartmums.in/tips-to-cope-with-morning-sickness-during-pregnancy/?fbclid=IwAR1HxOV-V4uHz1Hkqi4fzLNCxpbqZAFVvUULtaSrJdkgn7hPtrY1GtSnpzw

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"Why would you change the content of a popular workshop?"

18/1/2021

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9 years of conducting parenting workshops on discipline... 

And I can proudly say that every workshop has always had some brand new content. 

"Why would you change the content of a popular workshop?"

Many people ask me. 

Because every single day there is more and more new research emerging in neuroscience.

And when parents know what science is discovering about the growing brain - parenting becomes so much easier. 

I have immersed myself in the latest research about discipline now and I am very excited about sharing the easiest way to discipline a child at my webinar for Vidyashilp School  this Saturday 23rd January Saturday at 11:00 am. 

All parents are welcome. 

Here is the link to join http://bit.ly/39eXYFQ


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Jack of all trades is perfectly fine.

16/1/2021

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In the past week... at least 3 parents have complained to me during workshops and consultations  - about their children who don't 'perform'

It has ranged from the mother of a preschooler complaining that she doesn't show what she has learnt. 

To the father of a middle schooler saying that their son keeps hopping from one musical instrument to the other without excelling in any one. 

To the parents of a teenager saying that he refuses to play competitive sports even though he is excellent at many games. 

So is it valuable to know something well - if you don't show the world how good you are at it and win applause and awards? 

I think it is. 

There are some things you do because you want to challenge yourself. 

Once you have mastered that sport / instrument - you want a new challenge. 

You look at a new sport / instrument. 

You do this to build your self esteem and feel good

You may not want to perform or compete in this space and lose out on the joy of being good - by discovering that you are not the best. 

Being a generalist is good. 

Jack of all trades is perfectly fine. 

I don't think we should worry so much about children when they do such things. 

Our worry is likely to shake the self esteem they are struggling so hard to build.

Photo by Siniz Kim on Unsplash


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Being a new mom is extremely stressful as it is

15/1/2021

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The pandemic has increased anxiety in new moms 

Says this newspaper article. 

Oh yes it has! 

Being a new mom is extremely stressful as it is

Nature programs new moms to be more alert and anxious so that they take care of their babies conscientiously. 

A pandemic raging - the threat of infection - and the lack of support from friends and family - has only made it worse. 

It makes me really happy to look back at all my blogs on the Morisons Baby Dreams  platform that were aimed at helping new moms through this difficult phase. 

Here are some of them 
https://www.smartmums.in/how-to-care-for-your-newborn.../
https://www.smartmums.in/breastfeeding-through-the-covid.../
https://www.smartmums.in/mental-health-for-pregnant.../
https://www.smartmums.in/meditation-and-relaxation.../

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Does it adversely affect performance at work? Yes it does

14/1/2021

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For ages people have been talking about carrying 'work stress' home. 
And for over the past 40 years I have seen a lot of workshops etc being conducted to help manage that 
But very few people speak about carrying 'home stress' to work. 
Does that happen? Yes. 
Does it adversely affect performance at work? Yes it does. 
If you have a toddler who doesn't eat well - won't you constantly worry about them at work? 
If you have a teenager who is not studying - won't you  constantly worry about that at work? 
Yes you will. 
And what has happened now that work and home have merged and become indistinguishable from each other because of WFH? 
Things have got worse. 
You are not leaving your crying toddler behind and worrying about them. 
You have to watch them crying all day as you work. 
So many parents are reaching out to me because they can't take the emotional exhaustion anymore. 
Of course every case needs a personalized approach. 
But reading my book "15 tips for WFH parents" can be a starting point. 
Published by Juggernaut Books 
You can read the book on their free app in the personal growth and wealth section. 
Happy to DM the link. Please reach out 

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It is called "Discipline without Tears"

13/1/2021

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Many parents have been asking me for a workshop on Discipline. 
And now I am conducting one 🙂 
It is called "Discipline without Tears"
The workshop is organized by Vidyashilp Academy and they are inviting all parents to attend. 
Please fill the form by clicking on the link below to register. 
http://bit.ly/39eXYFQ
Please reach out with questions if any. 
Happy to help 🙂

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Then I with my highly evolved brain should definitely not eat it

12/1/2021

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"What goes bad is good for you"

This is a line I repeat to myself over and over again when I shop for groceries. 

And as a result I come back with shopping bags full of greens and whole grains. 

Is it easy? 

No it isn't. 

The greens spoil quickly and must be consumed rapidly. 

They come with soil on them and I have to spend a lot of time cleaning them
 

The whole grains have a short shelf life. 

I have to buy them in small quantities and use them quickly. 

But I keep reminding myself 

That if the bacteria and fungi - that are brainless organisms -  think something is not worth eating... 

Then I with my highly evolved brain should definitely not eat it. 

Because it simply has no nutritional value!! 

If we plan to win the battle against microorganisms and live on the earth... we need to follow their lead and eat what they eat. 

This pandemic has taught us how precarious our hold over the world is. 

Let's not lose that hold. 

What do you have on your shelves? 

PC: Photo by CDC on Unsplash

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I loved the interactions with the parents today

9/1/2021

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What an amazing workshop this was today at the Trio Tots Preschool Sahakar Nagar !! 

I spoke to parents on how - just following the child's lead and joining the child in play is enough to ensure learning. 

Children want to learn. 

They try to learn what they are being taught. 

But very often we think of their way as 'time wasting' tactics. 

We try to teach them the way we would learn. 

Even when we play with them - we play in the way that we think will facilitate learning 

Not only is this stressful, it also leads to the child refusing to learn.

In this workshop I helped parents identify their children's behavior when they were attempting to learn
 
And shared what they can do to amplify the effect by joining their children in play. 

Through preschool the child progresses from hearing and seeing - to listening and observing - and finally doing. 

When we join children in this journey through play - it can be a truly memorable experience. 

I loved the interactions with the parents today

And I was thrilled when Tots Head Greshma Geeta Bharat Momaya(@greshmamomaya) said that the workshop content was amazing. 

Thank you so much!!

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Offloading thoughts that move in a vicious cycle through the brain is important

8/1/2021

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Sleep has been one of the greatest casualties of the isolation caused by the COVID 19 pandemic. 

There are many children - especially teenagers - who hardly sleep nowadays. 

It is easy to push aside the inability to fall asleep at first because there are so many ways in which you can occupy your busy mind if you are not sleepy nowadays. 

And there are invariably other people who are willing to stay awake to give you company. 

But when sleep completely eludes you - it can become frightening. 

Especially when you have an exam or something else coming up for which you know you need to be alert and awake at a certain time to perform well. 

In times of stress the sleep deprived mind goes into overdrive and it becomes even more difficult to sleep

A lot of teens and their parents have been reaching out to me in the past few days because they are unable to sleep. 

They have usually gone through the well known recommendations of turning off devices early and stuff when they meet me. 

And they insist that they have no stress. 

But there always is. 

That is the reason they started pushing sleep back in the first place. 

Offloading thoughts that move in a vicious cycle through the brain is important

In the past few days I have received thank you messages from several teens who were just grateful that I facilitated offloading for them. 

That in addition to some physiological suggestions - got them sleeping and getting up like they wanted to. 

Are you struggling with sleep? 

It is best not to postpone getting help.

PC: Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash


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