We say all this - but does it help?

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A post shared by Dr Debmita Dutta - Parenting Expert (@debmitadutta)

“You’re too young to ‘like’ someone. Just focus on your studies.” — Shame
“You waste all your time on social media — that’s why your marks are so poor.” — Blame
“You get everything you want – but you still shout so much.” — Guilt

We say all this - but does it help?
No.

Shame makes a child think, “My feelings are wrong.”
Blame makes them think, “There’s something wrong with me.”
Guilt makes them believe, “I am bad.”

So they suppress their emotions --
and those emotions erupt later,
at the wrong time, in the wrong place, with the wrong person.

They hide their emotions from adults,
and share them with friends --
who, often give poor advice because of their own limits.

The advice they get from adults doesn’t help either:
“It’s just your age — your brain isn’t developed yet.”
“Just focus on your studies.”
“Don’t take things so seriously.”

It tells them what to think, not how to think.
And it does not grow their brain.

At my 2 workshops yesterday at the @trio_world_school – one for the students of classes 4,5,6 and one for classes 7,8,9 - 
I showed preteens and teens how they can use anger to grow.
I explained what their brain is telling them when they feel like scrolling or gaming.
I helped them understand bullying through the lens of neuroscience.
I shared frameworks to manage performance pressure, comparison, and complicated relationships.

And I was flooded with curious, courageous questions.

As I walked down the corridors after the session, students came up to tell me how much they loved the workshops and I was thrilled.

You may or may not know it, but children between 8 to 18 years are confused and hurting.

They’re asking:
Why am I feeling like this?
Why is this happening to me?
What can I do now? …and so much more.

It’s such a privilege to work with a school that understands what children truly need --
Answers, Tools, and Perspective.

So grateful for this opportunity 

I dive into what parents need to know in my course “Neuroscience Tools for Teen Parenting” starting online on 6th December. Happy to share more.