And resilience is not built by pushing harder

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A post shared by Dr Debmita Dutta - Parenting Expert (@debmitadutta)

​If your child gives up easily, it’s not a motivation problem — it’s a resilience problem.

And resilience is not built by pushing harder 
it’s built by what we say 

Because what we say makes them who they are

Stop saying these 3 things:

1. “Stop crying”
Children need to feel sad to learn that sadness is not dangerous. If we shut it down, they are more likely to avoid or give up when discomfort shows up. Hold them. Hug them when they cry

2. “Why can’t you do what everyone else is doing?”
Comparison creates shame. And shame makes children want to hide, not try.
Observe and detect the skills they lack and hekp them build the skills they need to do what others are doing 

3. “Good girl / bad boy”
When actions become identity, children stop trying. Notice their effort. See their intention. Talk only about their actions not their character 

Because children who don’t give up are far more likely to succeed.

And the ability to stay, try, and keep going comes from resilience.

Start parenting with neuroscience to Build resilience.

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