Have you heard that children must be praised to build their self-esteem?
Most parents I meet at parent orientations seem to have heard that.
They also seem to know that they shouldn’t praise the child – they should praise the effort the child has put in.
So, they know they shouldn’t call their child “talented”. Instead they should say – “I like how patiently you have been colouring that fish.”
But they don’t seem to know when they should stop praising the child.
Because they are praised so much - a lot of children nowadays need to be praised all the time.
If they are not praised, they will start asking for praise.
“Mamma – how is this?”
“Mamma – Is this colour nice?”
This is because they are used to working on external motivation and validation – instead of internal motivation.
These children often find it difficult to settle into preschool because there they have to patiently wait and share the teacher’s attention with another 10 children – which they are not used to.
If you are preparing your child for preschool – an important element of that preparation is teaching your child how to work alone for short periods of time. And teaching your child to do things for the joy of doing them – to feel capable and self-sufficient – instead of always working for praise.