"It's not that I don't want to do what I need to do - like my projects for example.
It's just that they take so long to do and I never seem to have the time"
A teenager I am mentoring tells me.
And this is a fact.
Most teenagers have too much to do and too little time.
So what is the solution?
Yes. It sounds like a harsh word but it is necessary if we want more time in the day.
Doing the same thing in the same sequence every day is the only way to
1. Automate some functions of the brain.
2. Speed up things
And ensure that you have more time in the day.
Unfortunately while the parents of teenagers want them to be disciplined - in most cases they haven't ever prioritized discipline in the early years.
The early years are often spent thinking " It is very harsh to discipline children so early in life. They should be free."
Of course they should be free!
That is why they need discipline. Because discipline sets you free.
Show your child how they can set themselves free through discipline as early as possible.
Do this by being disciplined YOURSELF.
That is the only way to ensure that your teenager gets their work done on time in high school.
#quoted in this article on eco-anxiety in children in the Mint lounge.
Research has found that children are anxious and fearful about what may happen due to the adverse environmental changes in recent times.
While I agree that children are worried - my experience with the children I have worked with is that they are determined and eager to find a solution. They are definitely not helpless.
That is the magic of childhood. You believe that anything is possible and that you can make anything happen.
It is the time when you believe firmly in "the power of one"
And as parents we must be careful not to snuff out that belief.
Everything - including saving the environment comes from each and every one of us doing one small thing at a time.
As long as we believe that WE must do it - As long as we don't dump the responsibility of doing something about the environment on someone else - we will be able to save the world.
One light switched off....
One plastic packet rejected....
One attempt at using public transport instead of your own car.....
And you can leave anxiety behind because you know you are taking action.
It is so scary when the fever goes up in the middle of the night.
And it usually does.
Then there is a mad scramble for medicines and sponging to lower the fever.
And many times it is so scary that you call the doctor and go to the hospital.
Why does this happen?
Why do fevers rise at the most inconvenient time of the day?
The reason is that the immune system starts working with full power after you go to sleep.
While you are awake, all the other parts of your body are working hard.
It is only when you sleep that the immune system gets a chance to grab the energy and resources it needs to function and eliminate disease.
That is why fevers rise in the night.
But what does that tell you about your body?
1. You need to sleep enough every day so that your immune system has sufficient time to find disease causing cells and organisms and eliminate them. Lack of sleep will make you sick.
2. When you are sick you must sleep more. So that your body can give all it's energy and power to the immune system to help it fight disease and help you recover.
Unfortunately, most of us do not sleep.
Almost every time I consult with a family about a parenting issue - I discover an associated sleep issue.
Not having a sleep routine is the number one parenting mistake.
It has a huge impact on everything - especially immunity.
There are 6 other parenting mistakes that compromise immunity and I write about them in my book
"Building Immunity in Kids"
Published by Juggernaut Books and available on Amazon.
As we battle this wave of sickness let us make the effort to correct the mistakes that we are making with our kids so that they have better immune systems and fall sick less often.
A panic stricken mom in tears tells me -
"When the pandemic began my son was only two and a half years old. I didn't want to pressurize him - so I just let him play all day."
"I thought he would learn everything through play and I would send him to school when it begins offline.
But this year I finally had to send him to online school - and I am shocked to see that he doesn't know anything compared to his other classmates.
I am trying to teach him at home - but he doesn't remember anything I teach him.
And he just does not want to make an effort to learn.
I am so worried.
I am constantly shouting at him and sometimes I even hit him when he doesn't listen.
But nothing is working.
What should I do?"
As the pandemic stretches out and goes from months to years, many parents who started out on their child's learning journey calmly - determined to stay relaxed and not push their children - are beginning to panic.
But panic is not helpful.
If you panic and shout and scream and hit - your child - your child's brain will shut down and they will learn nothing.
Learning is voluntary.
You cannot force your child to learn.
So stop shouting and hitting
You can only make your child want to learn.
So start smiling and being exciting and fun.
If you feel you cannot control your urge to hit and shout - reach out for help.
Does it matter how you hold your baby when you breastfeed?
What is the best feeding position?
It depends on a lot of factors.
Find out in my article for Morisons Baby Dreams
A mother on a 10 day work trip calls me in tears.
She has left her 3 year old child at home with her parents.
Her parents say that the child is remarkably well adjusted and comfortable throughout the day.
He only starts crying when she calls.
And then they find it difficult to manage him.
The grandparents have therefore suggested that she stop calling to speak to her son while on the trip.
Of course this is not something the mom wants to do.
And her call is to ask me if she is doing something wrong by calling her son.
It looks like she is doing something wrong because of all his crying.
And it seems like the best thing to do would be to stop calling.
But she just cannot convince herself to do that.
"Should I stop calling?"
She asks me.
My answer -
"NO. Keep calling."
It is extremely difficult to see a child's negative emotions and watch a child cry.
But we must be brave and endure them.
The child is being brave all day.
He is avoiding his fears and sadness and being cheerful and 'normal'
But we cannot take that to mean that he has no fear or sadness.
And he gives vent to his emotions when his mom calls.
That relieves his stress and makes him resilient to face the next day.
It would be wrong to deprive him of this window of being himself for our convenience.
"He is not crying because you are calling."
I tell the mom.
"He is crying because he can.
He is crying because you are his safe space.
Don't take his safe space away from him."
Negative emotions exist.
We have them and so do our children.
We must acknowledge that and embrace them if we want our children to grow up to be emotionally resilient.
Does your baby's stranger anxiety upset you?
Don't get upset.
Stranger anxiety is a developmental milestone.
Learn about it and manage this stage well.
Read what to do in my article on Morisons Baby Dreams (@morisonsbabydreams)
Link : https://www.smartmums.in/how-to-manage-stranger-anxiety-in-babies
Speaking yesterday at a panel discussion on
"Diabetic friendly baking"
Which was part of India's only healthy baking conference #OMBCDiscover2021 (@ovenderfulmombakers)
Who needs to eat diabetic friendly bakes?
All of us.
Because diabetic friendly baking is healthy for all of us.
All of us need to understand how to bake keeping the GI and the GL low.
All of us need to ensure that our bakes are not just a mass of refined sugar, refined flour and poor quality fat.
All of us need to ensure that our bakes deliver the good carbs, high biological value proteins, good fats, vitamins, minerals and fiber that our bodies need.
Are there ways to do that without our bakes tasting bland and unappetizing?
Yes there are.
And that is what we talked about in our panel discussion.
A huge thanks to Dr. Kishan Delampady(@drkishanendo) Dr. Sweekritha Bhat and Dr. Smruti Nalawadi(@smrutinalawadi) for generously sharing lots and lots of extremely valuable articles that helped me to prepare for this talk.
And thank you Simran(@sim_ovenderful) for giving me the opportunity to be part of this esteemed panel.
I learned so much through my research and through the discussion.
December 3rd was the International Day of Persons with Disabilities
And it was my proud privilege to be part of this video on White Print created by Beautiful News.
White print(@whiteprintmag) is a lifestyle magazine in Braille created by Upasana Sharat(@upasanamakati)
I have been blessed to be a part of its efforts at creating a more equal world and prioritizing #inclusionanddiversity.
Being included in mainstream life is not an act of kindness that the disabled need from us.
It is their right to be included.
Unfortunately being inclusive continues to be about kindness and charity - which is frequently withdrawn when it is inconvenient for the able.
The COVID 19 pandemic has been a shameful example.
Being inclusive is one of our greatest needs today.
And not because the disabled need our kindness - but because we stand to gain so much when we live in a diverse world and learn to be inclusive.
Empathy is the currency of the future.
Empathy is what we will need to thrive in the new world.
If we don't cultivate empathy by learning to be inclusive - we will be reduced to just surviving instead of thriving.
Thank you Geeta C Yadav(@geetayadavgcy) for introducing me to this beautiful attempt at inclusion.
More power to you team White Print (@whiteprintmag)
May you continue to create the unmatched joy of leafing through a magazine for many many more.
Sleepless during pregnancy?
Here are some tips to avoid the tossing and turning in bed