"My friends like you!!
They say you are so chill"
The daughter proudly tells her Dad
"Oh! I knew they would like my new jeans."
The Dad replies with a big happy smile.
The proud daughter stops in her tracks
She exclaims in exasperation
"Cool and chill are two completely different things!!!"
Happy Father's Day 🙂
"My daughter hates me today for making her practice music and take exams. But I don't care. I know one day she will realize how valuable this is and then she will thank me."
A mom I was speaking to the other day proclaimed.
Do you agree that being hated today is okay?
The way I look at it... Today is all we have..... No one knows what will happen tomorrow.
And I am not sure if knowing how to play the piano will help my child face the challenges that come up.
But I am positive that the emotional strength that comes from being loved - will give her the resilience she needs to overcome the challenges.
But does that mean that I will not ask her to practice playing the piano today and not encourage her to take exams in it?
Not at all.
But instead of prioritizing the skill she is acquiring... I will prioritize the relationship we are building as she learns a new skill.
That in my opinion is the true meaning of "slow parenting".... And that is what I really mean when I say that we need to parent without agenda.
The agenda should only be to love and be loved. Everything else is incidental.
When I go to pick up vegetables nowadays I always come back with lots of Jamuns.
I love the way eating Jamuns gives me a blue tongue.
It takes me back in time to my magical childhood summer days.
It was amazing how we never felt the summer heat even when the temperature was close to 48 degrees - as long as we were hanging around the jamun trees and eating more and more jamun to make our tongues more and more blue.
More recently I discovered a very fancy way of eating jamun.
In the form of a parfait
And I shared it as part of the
"How to eat a rainbow" Recipe series that I did for Morisons Baby Dreams(@morisonsbabydreams)
Make this recipe while jamuns are here.
I am sure you will love it.
It is one of the "MOST DOWNLOADED BOOKS" on the Juggernaut Books(@juggernaut.in) app!!
Have you read it yet?
If you have a child who is struggling with falling grades
A child who is not getting the marks they should get.
Then do read this book.
I have written this book for you.
Teens and preteens have incomplete brains and cannot set goals and make plans that ensure success.
They need your help.
And in this book I show you exactly how you can help your child in easy steps.
The book was also stamped "EDITOR'S PICK" when it was released.
If you haven't read it - pick it up now!!
It is available as an eBook on the Juggernaut app for INR 29/- only.
#quoted in this article on #sleep in the Indian Express
One of the most common things parents have been reaching out to me for in the past few months - is - sleep.
Parents have been complaining to me that their children (of all ages) are just REFUSING to sleep.
But are they really refusing? Or are they unable to sleep?
And even if they are refusing - is there a reason for their refusal?
It is really important to find the reasons and fix them.
Because sleep disturbance is the first sign that there is a problem - either physical, mental or emotional - that needs to be fixed.
In this article I share 9 things that you must examine if you find your child not sleeping.
If you are still not able to put your finger on the problem - you must reach out for expert help.
Do not get exasperated and frustrated with your child.
It is not your child's fault that they can't sleep.
This is what the mom of a student in the 12th grade said after our conversation the other day....
"All these days... When I was worried.... I would reach out to my friends to share my worries.
Most of these friends are moms of my daughter's classmates.
And when I shared my worry about my daughter not studying
They would join me in complaining about their teens who were not studying either.
So every conversation only ended up being a complaining session.
I would come back feeling negative and frustrated.
And I would pour out all my negativity on my daughter... Resulting in her studying even less.
This conversation with you has been such a productive conversation.
I know what I need to stop doing and what I need to start doing.
I am feeling light,.. Even though I know there is a lot of work ahead of me.
This is in stark contrast to what I have been feeling for the past year. When I had no idea what to do."
A lot of times the parents of teens find themselves stuck in this whirlpool of negativity.
Yes. Most teens behave the same way.
And complaining about them is pointless unless you are speaking to someone who can show you what you can do to change things.
I feel blessed that I am able to help.
Happy to connect if you are struggling.
Bowing my head in gratitude as Super Mums of India(@supermumsofindia) publishes my interview.
I loved the questions that Moya Caddy(@moyacaddy) asked me - in this interview
And I love it that she chose a picture of me with my daughter as the cover pic for the interview.
Do read if you would like to know about my journey -
1. How my parents influenced me.
2. How I balance parenting my daughter with work.
3. And what I think is the easiest way to simplify parenting in the current times.
Thank you Moya
I am a very proud member of the Super Mums community and I am always awed and inspired by the spirit of generosity and love that prevails there thanks to you.
"We need an appointment today. It is an emergency."
A mom requested on a call yesterday.
An emergency in parenting?
Are you surprised?
Every week I am called to attend to several such emergencies.
And honestly - I appreciate the fact that the parents recognize that something is going terribly wrong - and want to do something to set it right immediately.
It is much better than postponing getting help - to next week - next month and so on - like many others do.
All problems in parenting - at their core - are relationship problems.
With every moment that you postpone correcting that rift between yourself and your child - the gap becomes bigger - the wound in your hearts that started out as minor scratch - becomes a gaping wound - and it bleeds your relationship to death.
This results in children - not listening - not studying - getting into bad company - doing the wrong things - and so on.
And one day there is a HUGE problem in the house.
But like the parents yesterday - if you take action with urgency - you may see a miracle.
Like what happened yesterday -
I gave the parents an appointment at 4 PM.
We finished consulting at 5 PM
At 6:27 PM I received a message from the mom saying that they had implemented what we had discussed - and it was working wonders.
I had no words to say how grateful I felt to have had an opportunity to help these wonderful parents and their amazing child.
Of course I know there will be ups and downs again - like there are in every relationship
But their urgent action showed them that it is POSSIBLE to repair what seems irreparable at first.
So grateful for this opportunity to contribute meaningfully every day.
PC: Photo by Allen Taylor on Unsplash
If you are looking for an easy way to ensure that your child falls in love with healthy food
I recommend you embrace healthy baking.
Yes - it is the easiest way to ensure fuss free healthy eating for the following reasons -
1. Children need snacks to grow
2. The easiest way to give children healthy snacks is - to bake - beacuse it can be done ahead of hunger time
3. Eating healthy bakes as snacks prevents tantrums because of fluctuating blood sugar levels and hormones like dopamine and leptin
Whenever I have recommended that parents make the shift to healthy baking however, most parents have asked - "But how do we do that? Is there a book that we can follow for recipes?"
So far the answer was no.
But now it YES!!!!
Simran Oberoi Multani(@sim_ovenderful) and her band of healthy bakers at the Ovenderful Mom Bakers Community have put their recipes together in a collection of 3 books.
Book 1 - Vegan Gluten free baking recipes
Book 2 - Savouries and wholesome one-pot recipes
Book 3 - Desserts and sweet treat recipes
You can buy one or more books at the following link http://www.stonemill.in/shop
If you prebook by 31st May you get this special book set / book in June!
So do it now!!!!
Tagging some friends whose recipes are featured in the books
Samantha Lazaro Kalai Rajesh Pv Iyer Vrushali Gite Namita Tiwari Kasturi Neil Sonalkar Pratibha S Gadad Rekha Joseph Jeeva Anna George
So proud to know you guys. You are changing the world.
Children are often the 'forgotten mourners'.
Because they express their grief differently - we often assume that they are over their grief.
But no child can ever get over the grief of losing a parent - they can only grow through it.
And as concerned adults we must understand how grief evolves and how we can support grieving children until they learn how to live with the new reality.
Although we cannot take away their pain - by being mindful - we can save them from feeling the shame and guilt that follows grief.
Grieving children have always been all around us - but the pandemic has made us recognize them and most adults are now trying to acquire the skills they need to cope with grieving children.
This article discusses what adults can do to make things better
#quoted in this article in the Indian Express on helping children cope with grief.